A List of Faults

Sunday, October 9th, 2016

The following is intended for all sexes and inclinations… it truly is!

You feel like you chose the right person to live with...

And then something about your relationship is out of sorts… and before you know it, he's changed unrecognizably. Look: his gentle voice has turned grumpy and aggressive, he disregards your enthusiasm when you come home from work, and, incredibly, he started snoring more than he does holding your body...

If you don't hold your horses for a moment and take a deep breath, the list of faults will keep on growing and growing…

But maybe, just maybe… make yourself a cup of your favorite coffee, or red wine if that's your style… arrange a cozy setting, sit at some quiet corner, calm the beating of your heart, close your eyes.

Now look for that corner within yourself where your love and self-esteem are… you've been neglecting it lately…

Listen to those voices that sometimes visit you when you allow yourself a few moments of quiet reflection…

You may find yourself saying "he drains all my energy, he leaves me exhausted… I would have been able to do so much more if I didn't have to invest so much in him…"

As you get to your final sip, just before the glass is removed to the sink laden with dishes and sorrow, the following thoughts that have unbiddenly taken root in the deepest recesses of your mind might rise, trembling, blowing and whispering like a mantra, reminding you that deep down you may feel that:

Everybody divorces in the end, why bother?

I'm not really worth it.

A binding relationship takes away my freedom.

He is holding back my development.

You see, you lug around with you your DBTB of "Destructive Baggage of Thoughts and Beliefs". All your little beliefs lay dormant there in your DBTB, and it determines how you see and experience your life's reality.

Could it be… is it possible to hypothesize… that at this very moment he is going through something very similar to what you are going through? Could it be that he is also scared, and his DBTB pulsates in waves and turbulence? Could it be, only… he responds differently to it than you do. He buries his head in his mobile phone, he plays a game, he has to keep himself busy doing something, tinkering with something…

Maybe you should add it to his list of faults… or maybe you should get up and reach out to him.

And you, mister, maybe you should join and play her game, maybe just reach out and touch her… you know, she doesn't really want to be alone.

Written with love,

Gila